The small window we leave open for others to see our lives through can often leave hidden the vast rooms of countless concealed sorrows and struggles we manage in secret each day.

Not with deception, or intent to be guilely cunning we bury our underlying pains. We simply and truthfully present the momentary strength that is provided, just enough to get through the pressing moment at hand. Then, back in the quiet of our unaccompanied thoughts, wilt under the compounded crushing weight of our sorrow.

Only God ever truly sees our innermost vulnerabilities. Only He knows the depth of strength that He provides us in order for us to contribute, even mildly, to our society, family’s and to the simplest mundane, menial daily tasks. Only He hears the secret whimpers of our heart, the cries in pain, the aching in our soul.

Only He knows, so only He can provide the strength and comfort we require to face them.

Only God is witness to my tear-drenched cheeks, my face – stained with sorrow, my clothing saturated by the salty flood ever-flowing from my eyes. What is concealed, is entirely revealed to Him in the secret places.

Only God hears my thoughts, the memories that race constantly through my mind, looking to the empty seat that once cradled my accompaniment through much of my life’s journey, now vacant.

Only He sees these secret moments of agony. Only He can soothe them.

Only God can give me the endurance to run & finish my race.

Only God, who gave His only Son as a living sacrifice for us, can fully understand my affliction. His only Son, gives me a way back to my only child.

My only child, now lives with Him.

She cannot come to me. I will go to her one day, but she cannot return to me. Only He knows the suffering of my heart in this vast insatiable void.

The strength you see in me – is Him.

The joy you see in me – is Him.

The good you witness through me – is Him.

The stirring in your heart when you read & hear me speak – is Him.

The nagging on your heart when you hear Lily’s voice raised in song to The Great I Am – is Him.

The compelling words you read as I share from Lily’s journal – ALL Him.

Do not be fooled when you see me.

I do not have tremendous strength. I alone, cannot hold back the mighty rushing sea of sorrow. The calm shoreline you observe in my poise and composure is not me, what you see, is Him.

“He will pass through the sea of affliction, and will smite the waves in the sea, and all the depths of the river shall dry up.” Zechariah 10:11a

For “You alone are my strength, my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my heart’s desire

And I long to worship thee”

Lyrics from “As the Deer”

  1. September 25, 2020

    This. Your words are beautiful. The glimpse into your deepest sorrow gives hope to our most treacherous days. The days where we don’t know how we will make it.
    I lost it at “his only Son, gives me a way back to my only child”. It really is that simple.

    • September 25, 2020

      Thank you for your comments. Seeing my own words shared back with me brings me to tears all over again, reminding me this separation is temporary – and then forever with my gal – because of Jesus.

  2. September 25, 2020

    Beautiful. We see a glimpse of your pain through writing. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable so we too can understand God’s purpose through your teaching. You are helping many.

    • September 25, 2020

      Thank you Sara. It’s encouraging to me to hear these little articles help others in their pain too.

  3. September 25, 2020

    This is such a very important message and why everyone desperately needs our Father. He alone can do the unimaginable-true beauty from ashes. Thank you for always pointing everyone back to Him. May God continue to fill you with joy and peace as you draw from the overflowing well of living water.

  4. September 25, 2020

    Thank you for bearing your soul, Faith, and for always giving glory to God. Perception is so important…and I am moved to tears by your words, by your heart, by Him. Love & prayers for you always!

  5. September 26, 2020

    Thank you Lord for showing up in our lives in a mighty way. Oh how we need You and Your vision.

    Faith, your words display truth and clarity. May we all have this truth until His return. Lord, give us your eyes….You are worthy of praise!

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